Everyone loves to travel — even the most archetypal villains of pop-culture history. But suppose they owned motorhomes as well, what might their motorhomes look like? How might the most influential characters — good or bad — pimp their ride?
We like to think they would look a little something like this…
Darth Vader's Imperial "Cruiser"
When he wasn’t intimidating his own officers on the bridge of the Super Star Destroyer, Vader liked to take the old Imperial Shuttle down to the odd planet to discuss military tactics, storm Rebel Alliance bases, and hunt down the last of the Jedi. So we reckon if the road ever beckoned for Vadar he would go for a model in a similar vein.
As every true Star Wars fan knows, the real name of the Imperial Shuttle is the Lamdba-class T-4a. We reckon Vader is a man who likes consistency (after all, he wore the same robot-suit for over a decade without ever changing things up), so this motor home would be a Lambda, That’s what gives this model it’s sleek Imperial grey and polygon design. The boarding ramps might even be the same components repurposed from the motor homes interstellar equivalent.
In Revenge of the Sith Vadar quickly became so twisted by the dark side that he butchered children (‘younglings’) in the Jedi temple. So why wouldn’t he use Han Solo’s frozen body as a fridge/freezer door? Solo’s freezing takes place in Empire Strikes Back, nearly two decades of more dark side-twistedness later. At this point Vadar is so frickin’ evil and he loves it. Han’s face — permanently frozen with confusion and pain — would probably still give him a kick every time he reached for a beer.
This same twisted humour would also let Vadar poke a bit of fun at himself; hence the “high ground” BBQ pit. (At the same time, we’re sure he regrets not just jumping to the side of Obi-Wan instead of right at him.) But let’s humanise the guy for a moment. He turned evil to save the love of his life, Padmé, the senator he married in secret. He probably still thinks about her as well, hence the photo.
Vader is still beholden to the Emperor of the galaxy, his old friend Palpatine. So of course he has a chamber at the rear of the Lambda-class camper van to take holographic-calls, meditate, and put some cream on his face.
Daenerys' Juggernaut Of Fire And Blood
Daenerys likes to make a statement, so we reckon she would ride around in something as big and as dark and menacing as Drogon itself. If only the Mother of Dragons had one of these bad boys, it wouldn’t have taken six entire seasons of Game of Thrones to drive across Essos and get to the Narrow Sea. It may not be stormborn, but it sure will provide cover in storms. Anti-vandal paint likely doesn’t exist in Westeros, but open flames are as good as anything to prevent troublemakers from climbing on to the roof.
Yes we think Daenerys would sit on an iron throne — even if it’s not the real iron throne. It’s all about reinforcing the message of her divine and rightful belief as the ruler of the seven kingdoms. And in case any middle-lane hoggers overlooked or failed to appreciate the danger of the menacing Targarian sigil on the roof, then they can be sure a firey death awaits the second the ‘DRACAR1S’ license plate comes into focus.
Yes, the Queen has a conventional oven. Why, you ask? Because dragon fire is a little too powerful. Dragon fire is a little hotter than steel’s melting point (if the destruction of the Iron Throne is anything to go by). So even though she has a handy supply of unlimited fire, it’s only really good at burning down walls and those who failed to bend the knee. A dragon flame won’t so much cook a chicken as burn it to a cinder; boiling everything around it in the process. We reckon Daenarys would have attempted to cook food a few times with dragon fire but would have reluctantly consulted Westeros’ version of the yellow pages for a conventional oven instead.
Daenarys was still young when she was married off to Khal Drogo, and pretty much matured in Essos, So it’s not surprising that a little Essos culture has come with her. That’s why we imagine her lounge area would look not unlike the confines of a Dothraki chieftain’s tent. In fact the whole interior, we reckon, would look like two cultures colliding — that of Essos and Westeros.
Harry Potter's Flying Train Car Caboose
Put yourself in Harry Potter’s shoes for a minute — now suppose you want to travel somewhere without the dizzying affects of floo powder or the (presumably cold and uncomfortable) long-haul broomstick flights. What would he really drive around in? Given that Hogwarts opened Harry up to years of literal magical discovery, we can see him flying around in a re-purposed Hogwarts Express train car. Yes, this motorhome would fly, even if it manoeuvres a little awkwardly. It would also be invisible in flight — like the Flying Ford Anglia.
There isn’t a whole lot Harry would want to “show off” here, as the ambition of any respectable wizard in a world of muggles is, after all, to keep things inconspicuous. If it’s invisible, then no one can see it anyway.
The inside of Harry’s motorhome would, we reckon, be like a little time capsule of the School of Witchcraft and Wizardry he loves. After graduating from Hogwarts as the captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, Harry has full entitlement to use the Prefects’ Bath — or at least poke some fun at himself by giving his regular bathtub the same name.
The rest of his belongings are either direct copycats or items actually taken from his time at school. His clothes trunk and trophies, obviously, will be his own. As would his owl cage — a stark reminder of everything he’s been through, and the loyalty and sacrifice of the loved ones in his life. The four poster bed, however, is probably an Ikea job with the odd magic spell to put it together (if only magic existed in real life to assemble things like that). Old habits die hard, and Harry is probably used sleeping in a four poster, not that they don’t look cool, anyway.
The fire place, aside from looking cosy, also gives Harry access to the wizard-transportation floo network. He can essentially talk to whoever he wants from the comfort of an armchair.
The Joker's Not-So-Inconspicuous "House Of Fun"
This eccentric design is faithful to the Joker’s reputation as a dangerous psychopath and the fact that he almost never plans anything through. That he’s “like a dog chasing cars”. We reckon the Joker would want to make this camper van all-the-more enticing to trap curious-minded people, hence the “House of Fun” label on the side and the giant flailing clown head on top.
Little has ever been revealed about the Joker’s identity, except that he might have once tried out to be a comedian before turning villainous. That would explain his dark and twisted sense of humour, where a giant smile on the bonnet almost certainly means no one will be smiling except for the Joker.
The Joker’s twisted sense of humour is even more evident on the inside. The Ace Chemical shower is an example of this. And given that Ace Chemical is where the Joker’s disfigurement began, we reckon it would also serve to re-affirm his identity, possibly even making him feel more at home. This humour extends to the bedroom, with little bat symbols on the bedsheets as a taunt to his arch-nemesis; along with a picture of the woman (Harley Quinn) who plunged madly into insanity with him.
Alongside the vanity mirrors, the funhouse mirrors, and the creepy clown fridge (because bad guys have to eat, too), is a dinner table depicted at the centre of madness. So when the Joker sits down to eat, he can see the spiralling Ha! Ha! Has closing in on him. A good way to reaffirm one’s delusions and detract from an activity as normal as ‘eating’.
Sheldon Cooper's "Rocket", The USS Bazinga
Sheldon Cooper — the once-in-a-generation genius — would almost certainly design his motorhome from the ground up. From the earliest pencilled-in sketches to the final tweaks to the engine. The final shape, of course, is the darling of Sheldon’s love affair with the laws of physics: the most efficient, aerodynamic shape of any motorhome feasible, probably, ever. The colour is a touching tribute to his favourite superhero, The Flash, while ‘Bazinga’ of course is Sheldon’s catchphrase.
Sheldon is able to not take himself too seriously, as the USS (United Space Ship) denotes. While the name ‘Bazinga’ is a loud-and-clear announcement that it’s super-genius Dr. Cooper who’s just warp-fived on to the caravan site.
We can imagine Sheldon’s motorhome to look much like his apartment on the inside. That is, clean and orderly, and stuffed with geek fandom, books and computers. Sheldon might not be able to re-create his apartment exactly (well, at least not yet), but he’s certain to still have a “spot” where no one else is allowed to sit. There, of course, is his computer command, with his Alienware computers; his ‘Fun with Flags’ memorabilia, and his collectables. Sheldon’s interor living space is much like the interior of his mind. His personality furnished all over the walls as much as anything else.